


This Time

by muldy



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:56:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muldy/pseuds/muldy
Summary: "When the door slid open she knew who it was going to be, and if she was honest for the first time in her life she didn’t want to see him. For seven years every time that door had opened she had hoped it was him – he was her constant, her level headed partner, her closest friend on board. She had needed him in every way, even in the way she couldn’t have.And now? Now they could finally take that extra step, but it was too late."A little Endgame episode tag to fix some problems. J/C





	

When the door slid open she knew who it was going to be, and if she was honest for the first time in her life she didn’t want to see him. For seven years every time that door had opened she had hoped it was him – he was her constant, her level headed partner, her closest friend on board. She had needed him in every way, even in the way she couldn’t have.

And now? Now they could finally take that extra step, but it was too late.

Had she been wrong this whole time?

The doors shut and he still hadn’t said a word.

‘We’re home,’ he said quietly, testing the water.

‘We will be in about half an hour,’ she responded, forcing a smile.

‘You don’t seem happy,’ he countered.

She hadn’t that he could read her. She was happy – she wanted to be home, she wanted to see her family and her friends and her dog. Everything would be different but it would be close.

‘I am,’ she replied.

‘Then what’s wrong?’

He took a seat on her desk, he did that sometimes. Got slightly too close.

His hand was only a few millimetres from hers. She pulled hers away.

That he didn’t miss.

‘Kathryn,’ he sounded demanding now.

‘Are you in a relationship with Seven?’ she asked quietly.

Now it was his turn to force a smile, and she could tell it was forced, as he pulled his hand back and looked down at the floor, trying to find the right words to respond.

The silence was enough, her question was answered and she could feel the panicked feeling rising inside her. Maybe it would be better if he didn’t answer, they could just land on Earth and she could pretend like none of this had ever happened and –

‘I wouldn’t call it a relationship quite yet,’ he said finally, his smile fading as he looked back at her. ‘But we have been seeing each other.’

‘I see,’ Janeway took a deep breath.

‘Kathryn – ‘ he started.

‘That’s all, Commander,’ she snapped. ‘We should get ready for landing.’

She stood up and started walking around the desk to exit her Ready Room. He stopped her.

‘Kathryn,’ he was more forceful this time. ‘I know the timing isn’t great, but you made it clear that nothing was ever going to happen between us while we were on Voyager…’

‘The timing is fine, Commander,’ she couldn’t look him in the eye. ‘You are allowed to involve yourself with whomever you see fit to.’

She pulled her arm away from his grip and walked towards the door.

He didn’t respond.

She stepped out onto the Bridge and he followed her.

*

The celebrations were all a little too much, she snuck off into a quiet corner for a moment to catch her breath. All she wanted was a week alone in the countryside with her dog.

She wasn’t expecting to find Seven sitting outside in the gardens, looking out over Starfleet Academy. The slightly intoxicated part of her was screaming to run, but the Captain in her could see that her friend was upset – no, uncomfortable – about something.

‘Seven,’ she spoke quietly as she approached her, taking a seat next to her on the bench.

‘Captain,’ Seven replied.

‘It’s just Kathryn now,’ Janeway replied. ‘I’m not your Captain anymore.’

‘Forgive me, but you will always be my Captain,’ Seven replied. ‘However, I may be able to get used to calling you by your first name eventually.’

They both fell silent for a moment, not an entirely uncomfortable silence, but one that spoke to the unsaid words they were both holding onto.

‘Earth is a beautiful place,’ Seven commented. ‘But Voyager is my home.’

Janeway smiled. ‘You know it’s funny, I almost feel the same way.’

‘What will you do now you are here?’ Seven asked.

Janeway shrugged, looking over at the younger woman. ‘I don’t know. Continue my Starfleet career I guess.’

‘Do you not have family here? A romantic partner?’ Seven questioned.

‘I did, when I left, but he’s married someone else now.’

She hadn’t meant for the words to come out so heavily, but as she had said them the reality of history repeating itself set in. She had expected Chakotay to wait, the same way she had expected Mark to wait, and that wasn’t fair. People didn’t wait forever. They couldn’t.

Even if she could.

‘I am sorry. I assumed you had more here to come home to than I did,’ Seven offered what was almost a friendly smile.

They fell back into silence, a slightly more awkward one.

‘Please look after him,’ Janeway whispered, looking straight ahead.

Seven looked at her, confused. ‘After who?’

‘Chakotay,’ she replied.

She could feel Seven’s eyes watching her, putting together the pieces. She could almost hear her brain ticking over the evidence, analysing the data. She was surprised that Seven had never picked up on it before, but then human emotions weren’t exactly her forte.

‘I will,’ Seven still seemed confused, then slowly things fell into place. ‘You have romantic feelings for him. I am in your way…’

In usual Seven style, it was a statement, not a question.

This time she looked at her, tears doing their best to try and escape her eyes. She smiled at Seven sadly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

‘Not at all,’ she whispered. ‘I did that myself. I wish you both the best of happiness.’

She squeezed Seven’s shoulder and stood up, taking in a deep breath.

‘I best get back to the celebrations,’ she turned to leave and stopped short.

Chakotay was standing not that far away from them, close enough to have heard everything she had just said. She smiled at him.

‘Commander, she’s all yours,’ she spoke quickly as she rushed past him.

She really needed to find a more private place so she could make sure those tears weren’t going to come streaming down her face at any moment.

 

*

 

It was a week (and a bottle of wine) later when her doorbell rang. She frowned, no one knew where she lived, she had only lived there a few days. She hadn’t even had the chance to give her mother her address.

She opened the door without another thought, seven years in the Delta Quadrant had made her rather unafraid of anything on Earth.

Her stomach dropped when she saw him.

He was dressed in a loose fitting white shirt and not so loose fitting brown pants. It was casual, but formal and it looked good.

Her heart followed her stomach a moment later when she remembered he was spoken for.

‘Chakotay!’

‘I hope you don’t mind, I got your address from Starfleet,’ he smiled.

Oh the smile. She loved that smile.

‘Kathryn?’

She realised she had been staring at him a moment too long, so she stepped back from the doorway and signalled for him to enter.

‘Please,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry I’ve just finished the wine, but I’m sure I could order in some more if you would like.’

He laughed. ‘That does explain a few things.’

She mocked offence but then smiled, following him inside.

‘So what can I do for you?’ she walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch.

He followed her, sitting down next to her.

That surprised her a little, she hadn’t been expecting him to sit so close.

With his slightly see-through white shirt.

She needed the wine to leave her system right now.

‘Seven broke it off with me,’ he replied.

On second thought, maybe she needed more wine.

Her eyes shot up to meet his and she was suddenly aware of his intense gaze. Also the fact that he was single. Oh, so very single. And in her house.

 _He’s sober_ , she reminded herself.

‘Oh,’ she tried to sound disappointed but she could hear the tone of her voice and it wasn’t the right one. ‘What happened? How are you dealing with it?

‘She told me that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s in love with someone else,’ he stated simply.

She froze.

She could face countless universe destroying bad guys in an unfamiliar quadrant of space with limited resources, but this….this she couldn’t deal with. Emotions were not really her strong spot.

‘And, are you?’ it came out a whisper.

‘In love with someone else?’ he asked.

And suddenly his smile faded to match her terrified expression. He reached out and touched her cheek lightly with the palm of his hand. It was an action that she often found herself doing, but for him it was out of character.

‘Kathryn, I’ve been in love with someone else for years,’ he whispered in return. ‘I just wasn’t sure how that person felt until I overheard her talking last week.’

He had heard that.

Her heart was definitely in the wrong spot, she could hear it in her ears, although she wasn’t sure how it could have gotten to her head. This was her chance, the one she had been waiting for since the moment the Admiral had opened her mouth and mentioned his relationship with Seven.

‘Chakotay,’ she reached up and touched his hand on her face. ‘I – ‘

‘I love you, Kathryn. I always have.’

The smile she had expected, the tears not so much, but both were equally out of her control as she felt them spread across her face.

‘And I know that things are uncertain right now and that I can’t expect things to just magically work but – ‘

‘I love you too, Chakotay,’ she whispered in response. ‘I didn’t really realise that until Admiral Janeway told me that you married Seven and suddenly it felt too late, like I had wasted all those years assuming you would wait for me, and I was wrong.’

A small smile spread across his face.

She tilted her head. ‘What?’

‘I never thought I’d see you being the jealous one,’ he admitted. ‘And I hope I never have to see it again, but it is adorable.’

‘If you call me adorable again we may need to reconsider this conversation,’ she commanded, then laughed.

As she did so he leaned in and kissed her, lightly at first, then there was a moment of pause before it became more passionate.

His hand began to lightly trail its way up her arm and suddenly she registered what was happening.

‘Chakotay, stop,’ she pulled away. ‘Is it too soon?’

He looked exasperated. ‘Too soon? Kathryn - ’

‘You just broke up with Seven.’

He paused for a moment, considering what she had said. She was concerned this was some kind of reflex reaction, that she had broken up with him and he’d come straight to her place and -

‘We broke up a week ago, straight after your conversation with her,’ he tucked her loose hair back behind her ear.

She liked that feeling, his hand brushing against her face and coming to rest on her neck.

‘We’ve been on three dates, I’ve loved you for seven years,’ he whispered, leaning back in towards her, placing a kiss on her cheek. ‘And every single day of those years I’ve wanted to do this.’

He kissed her other cheek.

‘And I want to do it every single day, for the rest of my life.’

He finally placed his lips back on hers.

This time she didn’t stop him.

This time was for real.


End file.
